Since recently finishing Final Fantasy XIII, I've had the urge to finally tackle Final Fantasy Tactics: The War of the Lions for the PSP. It has been a game I've been a little wary of since its PSP release in 2007. Its density and complexity at once repel and draw me in; the promise of its Shakespearean plot clashing with its notorious difficulty. Trying the game in the past led only to taking up something a little smoother like Disgaea instead, replacing Tactics on the shelf with the understanding to try again on one of those rainy days that never comes. I was afraid of when the game was going to bite.
I try to think back to 3 years ago. Am I more intelligent than I was then? That's a question. Am I a different person now? My sensibilities have changed, definitely. And I suppose it's this where this sudden feeling comes from. A feeling of not wanting, anymore, to try a little everything and end up being left with nothing, but thoroughly experiencing only the best and wholly inhabiting it as I do. Be it games, films, novels, anything.
Unfortunately, being that my PSP is currently 1500 miles away on a small Greek island, this feeling will have to be sustained until late August. To do so I am replaying another Yasumi Matsuno's game in the so-called Ivalice Alliance, Final Fantasy XII. My initial uncompleted save-file, dating from the European release, is over 50 hours long. Playing through the first 5 hours again this week I realise I barely remember any of the story events. The hospital dream sequence, the bare-knuckle prison brawl; each came as if by surprise. This delights me no-end, it means experiencing the story anew, with fresh eyes. I'm also relieved that the game still has the power to excite me on the second play-through: the feeling of the (almost) wide-open expanses, the intricacies of the gambit system/license board, the characters (Balthier's entrance!). Separated from any pressure, I can now allow the story to breathe, allow myself to relax in to the experience and enjoy the flow. When August comes (or the intriguing September release of War of the Lions on the iPod touch) I shall be suitably versed to tackle the epic tale of a Kingdom divided.
